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  2. WIT AND HUMOR.

    "Was the dinner cooked to suit you, sir?" "Yes, all but the bill. Just get that boiled down & bit, will you?" ...

    Article : 30 words
  3. CHURCH AND STAGE.

    There are several ways of getting into a theatre and enjoying tho performance free of charge. One way is to walk in backwards, and so convey the impression to busy doorkeepers that you are ...

    Article : 534 words
  4. IN THE CAUSE OF CIVILISATION.

    "Willie, where did you get that black eye." It's all right, father, I've only been civilising the boy next door." ...

    Article : 26 words
  5. HAVING A GOOD TIME.

    Pat: Have a good time in London, Mickey? Mickey: I did that; I wint to five music halls, and got chucked out av iviry wan! ...

    Article : 30 words
  6. THE RETURN OF A HERO.

    "It's cruel cold," said Sergeant William Rallies, stamping on the cobbles, "but it's good to be 'ome. There was a many times when I didn't think to see Southampton Docks again." ...

    Article : 1,162 words
  7. THE DIFFERENCE.

    She: Why, a bachelor is an object or public derision. He: Yes; and a married man gets his at home. ...

    Article : 22 words
  8. A MISTAKE IN SYNOPSIS.

    Temperance Lecturer: Oh, my friends, there are some spectacles which one never forgets! Old Lady's Voice (in rear): I'd like to know, sir, where they sell them, if you don't mind. ...

    Article : 36 words
  9. THE RULING PASSION.

    Customs Official: Have you anything to declare? Absent-minded Traveller (bridge player, just catching last word): Oh, leave it to you. ...

    Article : 27 words
  10. AVENGED.

    Mr. Batch: You say you are going to let your daughter marry young Hobson. But I thought you had a grudge against Hobson. Mr. Henpeck: So I have. That's why I want ...

    Article : 44 words
  11. WHERE CREDIT BELONGED

    Soubrette: Yes, I flatter myself that it was I that made the play a success. The Manager: Well, I don't know. I think you ought to give the ministers some credit for the ...

    Article : 42 words
  12. INVENTIONS THAT SELL.

    "Two inventors want to see you, sir. One has a rapid-firing-gun, warranted to kill-fifty, men in fifty seconds, and the other has a new patent lifesaving apparatus." ...

    Article : 49 words
  13. ESAU'S BIOGRAPHY

    "And who was Esau?'' the Sunday school examiner asked. For a moment there was silence. Then the youngest son of Mrs. Malaprop piped out: "Esau wrote a book of fables, and sold the ...

    Article : 43 words
  14. HE COULDN'T SLIP, OUT OF IT.

    May: Do tell me, Pearl, how Mr. Timmerman plucked up courage to propose -- he's so bashful. Pearl: Oh, easily enough! I asked him if he didn't think mamma would make an ideal ...

    Article : 61 words
  15. JUDICIAL HUMOR.

    Lord Chief Justice Cockburn was a peculiar looking little man, very old fashioned in his style of dress. He wore a collar tied behind, the points of which mounted up in front over his checks. He ...

    Article : 946 words
  16. THE ART OF ADVERTISING.

    Show Agent: What's wrong with our new midget? He doesn't seem to draw. Manager: Of course not. See what a mess you've made of the advertisements. You've put his height ...

    Article : 51 words
  17. Advertising

    {No abstract available}

    Advertising : 994 words
  18. A STUDY IN HEARTBREAKINGS.

    "I am supposed to die of a broken heart," said the unmanageable actress. "Now, how am I to know how a person with a broken heart behaves?" "I'll, tell you what to do," answered the ...

    Article : 57 words
  19. UNDER THREE.

    Old Lady (addressing guard of passenger train): Will you see that this little girl in the first class carriage gets out at Ballarat, and also put out her luggage? She has friends meeting her. ...

    Article : 56 words
  20. THIN BROTH.

    At an important contract in the country several workmen got their dinner at one of the houses at the work. They were very much annoyed at the thin broth they bad been getting for some time. ...

    Article : 79 words
  21. NOT WHAT SHE MEANT.

    Stout Body (to young person from registry office): I'm afraid you are rather young for the situation. Are you sure you could cook dinner for a large party? ...

    Article : 60 words
  22. HER PLEASURE.

    Miss Ascum: Did you really attend her wedding? Miss Wryvell: Oh, yes, indeed, and I enjoyed myself immensely. Miss Ascum:. Did you really? ...

    Article : 50 words
  23. EDIBLE TO HIM.

    "You say," tittered the fiancee of the vegetarian," that you could fairly eat me. Now, isn't that contrary, to the tenets of your belief?" "Not at all," asserted tho vegetarian. ...

    Article : 61 words
  24. GRATEFUL.

    Thompson: I want to ask a favor of you. Robinson: All right; go ahead. I want to ask, you to lend me fifty pounds for a week. ...

    Article : 72 words
  25. AN IMPORTANT PIN.

    One day a teacher of a school saw a little boy with a pin in his hand. The teacher went and took the pin from him. By and bye the boy began to cry. The teacher went on with her work, and ...

    Article : 101 words
  26. FEATHER OR FUR?

    The skipper of a Scotch coasting vessel, on his way down to his ship, bought a fine hare, which he gave to the steward with directions to the cook to prepare hare soup for dinner that day. Dinner ...

    Article : 104 words
  27. NOVEL METHOD OF KILLING HAWKS.

    A farmer who lives in northern Louisiana has grown weary of peppering grey hawks with blue whistler buckshot. It takes too much time. He Bat down and thought long, and finally evolved a ...

    Article : 192 words
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