Table Talk (Melbourne, Vic. : 1885 - 1939), Thursday 23 November 1916, page 4


The Week

Too proud to fight, the Hughes army is shedding its chrysalis of blueys and subsiding secretively into civilian clothes. The Minister of Defence has left it to the honor of the men that they shall not take away from camp the woollen underwear that was served to them. They had their chance of glory but they loved their country too well to go out and fight for it. They have been bitterly blamed by others who themselves for good reason and no reason did not go as volunteers. Posterity will be able to judge the rights and wrongs of this madly-tangled crisis. To-day the issue is clouded by personal feeling and self-interest freely exposed by both sides. Only this is certain, the discarded conscripts, having elected to stay at home, owe it to the country, to the soldiers and to themselves to work more arduously than before in civic life and to make it their sacred and unremitting duty to assure every returned hero a safe place in the Commonwealth, and every soldier's dependent loyal

and unstinted help for the rest of their lives.

• • m

The "Yes-No" system of government has got Australia by the whiskers, and will not be shaken off without suffering. No sooner is the referendum revel finished than a coal strike ballot is put up to give the nation another thrill on its jaded nerve centres. It must be confessed that the strike referendum was unavoidable, if the conscription count was not. The miners representatives were pressed hard by Mr. Hughes to promise that their constituents would abide by the decision of the court on the bank to bank principle, but, as their leader plaintively said: "You know it is impossible for me to guarantee what 20,000 miners will do in a given set of circumstances." And so the Commonwealth is hanging on the brink of industrial disaster and praying for another "Yes" vote, which may be after all a "Yes-No" vote and leave everyone in the dark. It is a mad world that sustains

us.

Old saying modernised: Women's work is never done—because she never does it. There

are so many race meetings, these times.

* * *

They were not joking when it was pointed out by one speaker that the Federal and State public debt now meant an interest bill of £20,000,000 per annum; that Victoria has increased her debt by £18,000,000 in five years, and that one quarter of the annual income goes in interest!. Won't someone stop this drift, or shall we turn over and have another snooze till the hill comes in? What's the good of worrying? Have we not a heaven-sent financial genius in the new Treasurer, Sir Alexander Poynton? Excuse us for anticipating, Alec, but

the "Sir Alexander'' comes so naturally.

* * *

Looking at the aimlessly wandering crowds in Melbourne streets on Sunday evenings, and remembering that the picture shows which might provide seats for their tired legs and interest for their idle minds are closed by municipal enactment, one wonders why some new prophet does not arise and start a cinema church. There is no manner of doubt that "movies" are the things to move the million, and there is no reason why "movies" should not displace dry theological sermons and lift the eyes of the multitude to worlds beyond. Sacreligious films of supernal regions are not advocated here, not even a first-class tour through Hades, but pretty moral lessons taken from daily life, with explanatory words in scriptural phrases, if necessary, to conciliate the unco guid and to replace the hideous Yan

kee slang of the week-day films.

* * »

"No men available for A.I.F. reinforcements —a serious position" reflects a passing phase of the military situation. There are, in fact, many thousands of men who recruited in the Army Medical Corps during the Referendum excitement. Only a few army medical workers are needed for the front each month. Until the new voluntary army scheme is developed it should be possible to declare the army medicals here a fighting corps and ship them away • immediately to France, if the" call . for. recruits is so desperate that there is danger

in delay.

Ferocious competition in news cable services is causing some contusion. The Harmsworth Press, which includes the "Times" as well as the "Daily Mail," has showered its mingled blessings and abuses on the Australian newspaper reading public by simply deluging the evening journals with facts, fancies and opinions about the European war. As a result, local Australian events might as well be happening in Hamscliatka as in Melbourne or Sydney, or any part of the homeland, for all the notice they get in the cablefctulied sheets. "Melbourne reads to-night what Eon don reads this morning" is a proud puff that is meant to Knock the morning papers in the eye. But Melbourne would not read Australian news till next week or never at all were it not that the morning papers staunchly keep their columns open to the vital affairs of our own country and resolutely fan the flame of sane civilisation here on the

spot.

• • •

Melbourne University has a class comprising one pupil with one whole professor to himself for the whole of the year. The professor's salary of a thousand pounds per annum must needs produce a phenomenal graduate to justify his existence. One Here is council of per.'"

Sh in" aet''>n& real a xuUU'.An a very To tvsjs/reader time

"knee. This is

\yi1(yP°nipared with

Is i/which develops j

£<>/%> play, in which Rev. F, W. Bon

producer to se- Aut hor of "Faces in

I prospective audi

ml,"<Crt »»<*" «' <»«• >° W» < re braverv of tli'e Sects; notliiiiB comes ail Ctn -n„f " fim r-c, i the way of something £le. But the real frQm ..N0thing» to

"An Old Maid's Diary"

sic, and Salad." He li been a minister in A twenty-one years, these almost evenly divided old manse at Mosgiel,

land, and Hobart, Tas now, for the past few , stationed at Armada!

So it is not surprising \ the antipodean mind p: ^ry is centred upon tiveen Temple and < iter of the princi

^ adjacent. Fort Mc

.he Hudson's' Bay. \m furs. June Mc

Spown any human Apl father and the. i\|se this wild out

v s it is not sur

On{"emple comes upPearciS, welcomes him,

permit* k father, and if and ?s able to striK tions whndly and inci- tha' °/ ma"lmCountry in Wiferaphic com- t0v^SVnav be. This is gon)&{s,1.o.ne.;.pf.L0.!.-™?rtale public's pro

posal that every man of military age should he given training for war while still performing civil duties and helping to produce the country's wealth and pay its taxes. It is immeasurably better than the forced permanent cainp and exemption scheme which has been blamed for losing the referendum. Coupled with the ordinary training of young men under the Commonwealth Defence Act, the reserve scheme should fairly steep Australia in the martial spirit. If promotion in the reserve and the citizen forces is limited only to men who go out to active service, it wili produce all toe requisite reserves for the European trenches and finally vindicate the voluntary

system.

It is not supposed to be good form to talk about the weather, but we are going to risk it. The extraordinary conditions last week were brought by an unusual combination of circumstances. One of our old friends, the monsoonal depressions, which sometimes wander as far south as Victoria in the summer months, moved off as far as the East Coast of> N.S.W., and there met with interference, and was pushed back our way. At the same time one of its cousins, the Antarctic depressions, which have low temperatures and high winds, arrived via Adelaide, and the two together

played old Harry on Wednes. -jk . we had low temperatures, ; in,(i '

together. We have had lit. : ,sS , •iui".:u last two months, which is dr ,lllllj with KiUori, in Papua, wher. V,.,.,'

September. !'i

Australia is to have a staj » ar.,,v

tlie war. That is the port< ■ • r ;)j- s<,

Pcarce's formation of a reset..- of ivmm,?1'1' 200,000 men. The scheme j,- p,„ j',' '. 1' while the real army is still ligii;-: jne sn Fur,''

Home-staying members of tli ' nizen ](r1"

are to form the nucleus of t/.■ new br:u i" "Australian soldiers who have been on

service" are placed second in i;,e schedule /• components of the reserve. As the figbtii

men return they will expect appointments if the reserve, and good ones too. Wjjj the n' lows who have worked tlie camps sedulousas home-trainers for months and years m,a have never gone to the from, get' tlie"'pnzt billets in the formation of the permanent home army? They are here on the spot, and there if, nothing, apparently, to prevem them from seizing the plums while their comrades are away fighting, just as there would have been nothing to have prevented them under conscription from staying at home to train conscripts for the trenches. The army reserve will preserve the spirit of military work gained in this war for use in future possible wars £011 our own soil, and is, tnerefore. a great and

necessary institution; hut every man who plies a commission in it should have to prove

iat he has won Ills spurs 111 battle or else ve place to a returned soldier, shr, * * *

£ More "Noes." The W.C.T.U. concluded its

tt.li annual convention last week. The final

J'lotions passed were:—No grocers licenses, iii° employment of barmaids, 110 raffles in t£chools, no postponement of the Local Option Aoll, and no difference in the standard of purtor' lor men ant* From a moral point

view the equal standard for both sexes

8;,eems quite right, but is it not the woman her

. self who usually allots the larger average of jthe blame to her erring sister? One hears

; "serves', her right; she was always running Rafter him," and invariably from the "lady'' who

••'lias never known temptation. The W.C.T.U.

could do a lot in regard to equalising the standard of sex morality. .

1 * * .t

Many who thought the conscription gun was loaded are sorry they were in such a hurry to take cover. We know several who, rather than be conscripts, rushed off to enlist. They are now wondering why, as those who did not enlist, but merely answered the proclamation by going into camp, are to be released after a month's service. One of Melbourne's sweet tenors left in a hurry for America, and the afternoon tea table at the Francatelli has a vacant chair, much to the proiessed sorrow of the other sweet tenor, who bravely stayed to face "the horrors of the conscription." Isnt it lonely without ?" he lisps, with tears in his blue eyes. "You know, tlrcy fou^i10! take me, as I have earned £2000 tor the Red Cross." Another of his laments is, "Why

Wagner die? I would have sung ",a8n<tI! music to the Germans." May we mention that it is not too late now, ! ^ ho You might end the war!

Wanted.—Price of goods regulation for men; hats. We saw some in a Melbourne sh°p window this week, labelled with these prices; fur S5/- each, straw 18/6 each. We shall soon

be as expensive to dress as the vomen.

* # *

The bold formation bjr Mr. Hit; bos of a new Ministry in the face of a hostile en tens majority can have but one meaning and ..no ending—a double dissolution. With the aid of the direct opposition, the Premier can carry his measure? in the House of Representatives, hut he has at

, o tnfnoi • •' of four in the Senate. This the !,tf, ni he riding for a fall, to force the pneanfi "E . co!;,,;r.v. The last man to do this fppijate to •o , ■ ^ok. When he woke up he Teas ' wJie<r' he had been struck by an -ivondei^a a Binljiar experience in

B lljei nave been recent mutterings '! wiieisw o\ .--ir Douglas Haig as a general

■ , ) ,,-e beer changed to a chorus oTpriuse

lis victor-, on the Ancre. Neither cable i,!fe Ljesg eciioed the mutterings in Austra3T Ljjjg appav atly is some of the censored "• we have, not missed. To lookers-on out",wV Fiiclanfl i' ' l!ems that Haig's only game i 10 bog i» hatter the German front

tie-jever he gets a chance, and to make sure !r every inch of ground he gains. Haig eviL,]v possesses the genius of patience, and ' i0'ng as the money continues to bind the Allies together he is no doubt capable of plod

ding along. « * »

Finnicking reduction of budget items will not save Victoria the quarter of a million that (ritic-s of the Peacock deem essential to found finance. Premier Peacock says he has not increased expenditure unduly, and in a fpuse the departmental records support him. The money is really drifting into the pockets of uselessly duplicated taxing departments. The State and Federal Income and Land Tax oflices should be boiled down from four into one. Their whole business is to tax, and the one set of land valuations and income tax returns would serve all purposes, enable collection costs to be cut down to a third of their present sum, and let the harassed taxpayer see his yearly joy bill all on the one scrap of

paper.

Australia, will bow down and worship the man who can discover a means to prevent strikes. "Abolish the organiser, the delegate, the agitator," says a leading business man, "and you abolish strikes." This may, or may not, be the case, but some color is lent to the contention by an authenticated account of a short discussion between an employer and the representative of some employes on a wages hoard. The labor man, an agitator of the most pronounced type, disagreed with every proposal in toto. After the meeting had been adjourned, the said employer met him and quietly said: "Will nothing satisfy you?" The reply came. "Nothing! my occupation would be gone if I agreed to the proposals of your

side."

Dr. keeper's patriotic effort to disgorge the "No" vote after swallowing it has brought down on him the logical reproaches of a plain citizen in the bush, who asks pointedly why the learned ascetic, having taken full part in the referendum campaign, cannot, as a man of honor, abide by the result. The referendum issue has revealed a large body of non-sporting character in this sporting community. Dr. Deeier says he will not accept the "No" verdict, hut lie called on all and sundry to loyally support Andrew Fisher's personal promise of the hist man and the last shilling. His obvious course is to organise a "Yes" brigade for active service, and invite both "Yeses" and "Noes" to join it. Fanning the flame of old strife in the commonwealth is a less loyal course.

Lieut:. Keith George, second son of one of the proprietors of the big Collins-street drapery firm, has fallen in action, lie served for two years in Gallipoli and French trenches. The young man displayed notable sihility and enterprise in connection with the management of the George and George establishment, and was in charge of the advertising department, when the war-call first sounded and took him away with the first contingent to leave these shores for overseas service. lie was a fine man in many ways. .lust, before he left Melbourne his engagement, to a -Melbourne young lady was announced. •

Under war conditions some folk relieve anxiety in extravagant living, but <he prudent, carefully maintain the policy of thrift by continuing their system of weekly savings, rightly believing that money saved is power earned, particularly in times of national crisis. The hist report of the State Savings Bank of Victoria for

the year ended June 30 reveals a gratifying increase in the people's wealth. The total amount at credit of depositors in all the branches and agencies increased during the year by £1,360,255, making the total on June 20, .e2G.i0i.284, which includes £24 0,541 in Savings Bank Deposit stock. The number of depositors' accounts also increased during the year by 24.G61, making the total number remaining open at June 30 74G.597; this included 174,029 small inoperative accounts with u total sum of £25,057 10/4 at credit; the remaining 571,GG8 operative accounts had an average amount of £45 13/9 in each account. The bank made a profit of £19,884 in the year. The reserve is now £500,000. The credit fancier department also shows expansion. The public hold £1,832.250 in stock and debentures, and the bank £2,74G.800. From farmers, 518 loan applications were received, compared with 837 in the previous twelve months; applications for loans on shop and house property numbered 1872, compared with 2202 in the previous year.