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  2. Flotsam and Jetsam

    "You look worried, Stubbs; isn't your historical novel selling well?" "Oh, yes; the book's all right, but I've got stuck on this magazine article explaining how ...

    Article : 38 words
  3. What He Expected.

    He: "Would you mind a little temporary inconvenience, dear; a few years of poverty when you marry me?" "Good gracious! Don't you expect to live ...

    Article : 35 words
  4. Picnic Preparations.

    "Can I help you, Maria?" "Yes, I've, dressed Tommy—now you keep him clean while I dress myself and the two girls." ...

    Article : 23 words
  5. Confused.

    A certain liveryman who is slow to take up modern improvements has been timid about using the telephone, which only recently became a part of his establishment. ...

    Article : 162 words
  6. A Schoolboy's Question.

    A schoolboy who had been thrashed for his faulty grammar sent this doggerel to his master by way of justification:— If we must not say he reached ...

    Article : 62 words
  7. To Shame Him.

    Mrs. Gabble: "Mrs. Phoxy seems to exercise a peculiar influence over her husband." Mrs. Noah Tall: "She does. She has preserved an alleged poem he wrote when he was ...

    Article : 50 words
  8. He Defied Competition.

    Summer Boarder: "What is the maximum temperature here?" Farmer Backwoods: "I can't say exactly, but you can bet it's as maximum as it is ...

    Article : 33 words
  9. The Price of Constant Loyalty.

    "But," said the tourist, "I should think your frequent revolutions would entail on enormous expense upon your people?" "They do," replied the native of the South ...

    Article : 47 words
  10. The Old, Old Excuse.

    Mr. Skeemer (as he leaves the house): "I have twenty-six letters to dictate this evening, dear, so do not expect me home very early, ...

    Article : 114 words
  11. A Variation.

    "I's done took a heap o' trouble ter sen' dat gal ter school," said Miss Miami Brown's father. "Is she gettin' educated?" ...

    Article : 59 words
  12. A Little Mafeking.

    I shall not worry w'ile I keep by calth, And Sal, and that there marvel of a kid. I do not greatly 'anker after wealth, Knowing 'twould make no difference if I did ...

    Article : 175 words
  13. Considerate.

    "William, a poor man came along and asked for a hat." "What did you do?" "I have him your Sunday hat." ...

    Article : 49 words
  14. Deduction.

    Patient (at the dentist's): "Doctor, what do you charge to pull a tooth?" Dentist: Ten shillings." Patient: "Are you sure you know how to do ...

    Article : 74 words
  15. Rover and Moreover.

    A clergyman, crossing a moor in Scotland, met a Highland shepherd, who happened to be calling his dog—"Moreover," Moreover," "Moreover." ...

    Article : 127 words
  16. Scoring a New Point.

    "How did you like my recitation?" asked the young man. "It was truly remarkable," answered Miss Cayenne. "It has given me a new insight ...

    Article : 56 words
  17. A Place Unusurped.

    "Well," said Mrs. Sirius Barker with characteristic cynicism, "I'm glad they draw the line in this feminine determination to usurp the place of man in modern civilisation." ...

    Article : 72 words
  18. FACTS AND FANCIES.

    A little nonsense now and then Is relished by the wisest men.-HUDIBRAS. "Africa was once the Dark Continent," sighed the Kaffir chief, "but it's getting ...

    Article : 712 words
  19. Elliptical Truth.

    A kind-hearted clergyman was lately compelled to dismiss a gardener who used to purloin his fruit and vegetables. For the sake of his wife and family he gave him a letter of ...

    Article : 75 words
  20. Parallel Cases.

    "I have a capital idea for a story," said an aspiring young Detroit author to a friend. "I call it 'Drafts That Must be Met,' and this is my idea: The man who ...

    Article : 143 words
  21. Saw Through the Dodge.

    An autograph hunter, who was very anxious to obtain the signature of the poet Campbell, adopted the familiar stratagem. Having come across a line in one of his poems, the meaning ...

    Article : 83 words
  22. Right in His Line.

    "Your friend Flightly possesses a wonderful imagination; As a writer of fiction he would certainly win success." Gyer: "Success has already crowned his ...

    Article : 75 words
  23. Couldn't Double the Cape.

    Richard Brinsley Sheridan was one day dining with Lord Thurlow, when his Lordship produced some fine Constantia, which had been sent him from the Cape of Good Hope. ...

    Article : 86 words
  24. Especially.

    Two elite members of the upper tendom of coloured society sat very close together on the deck of a Belle Isle steamer the other afternoon. She was gorgeously arrayed in the ...

    Article : 130 words
  25. High Jinks at the Telephone.

    When Mr. Meddlar tried to use his telephone a few days ago, the telephone girl, probably dreaming of her social triumphs, instead of giving him the number he called ...

    Article : 569 words
  26. A Discord.

    A weary congressman who could "snore upon the flint" occupied a room adjoining a German musician's. "You will have to give me another room, I ...

    Article : 152 words
  27. The Far-seeing Maid.

    He was a young man as some young men are, who are everlastingly paying their devoirs to pretty girls, and never reaching any definite business conclusion. ...

    Article : 349 words
  28. A Faux Pas.

    "It was simply awful," declared the lady of the house to her intimate friend. "I never felt so in all my life, and I hope I may never again! That husband of mine will be the ...

    Article : 295 words
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