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THEY SAY
That the proposed public protest against
Chinese cheap labor for the Transvaal is a
bit of canting claptrap.
That Namby-pamby Nanson's latest bid
for notoriety should about extinguish that
lanky legislator.
That the people of Perth would be more
profitably employed in agitating against
their own appallingly-apparent aliens.
That the presence on the platform of bye
gone bellowers for Boer blood ought to
accentuate the fatuous farce.
That the wowsers who whooped for the
wiping out of Kruger were the real cham-
pions of cheap Chows for Cohen and Co.
That, as atonement for their asinine antics,
the cremation of a few swaddies in effigy
might fitly precede to-morrow's meeting.
That the figure of Wire-fence Ricardo
would lend itself admirably to point the
moral of what W.A. Went to war for.
That Naasoo's indictment of the alleged
Labor Porty should have been more mus-
cular.
That the readiness of Hastie's acrobats
to ride the rail is known to both sides of
the Speaker.
That the "death-bed repentance" of one
Laborite led bim to confess to an Opposi-
tion ogre.
That the "workers' representative"
promised to rat to either side to secure his
«eat.
That the member fer Mundaring is shift-
ing Sheol to get a J.P.-ship for a paL
That the latter ¡3 a foreigner with only a
nodding acquaintance with the King's
English.
That Cyclops swears he will get his
cobber the commission in spite of the general
growl.
That the soon-to-be-made magistrate will
startle Westralia with his squarehead sen-
tences.
That the passing of the Opera Co. con-
siderably upset a prominent postal official.
That the said s erang boarded on the boat
until his divinity departed.
That he tipped the steward a sovereign
to see that no one tampered with his
"Tottie."
That before Sholl's sheik was out of sight
the steward was installed first favorite.
That a Perth publican's frequent drives
oat on his ace have been accounted for.
That the destination of the said shypoo
?serchant is a Goilufcrd-rcad cottage.
That the disinclination of the bung to
take any friend with him exposed the plot.
That his pals are now awaiting the furious
and inevitable tornado.
That a well-known amorous goldfields*
M.LG. sustained a set-back last week.
That having worked himself off on a
waitress as a bachelor he took her to the
theatre.
That one of his rib's female relations sat
behind him and let the cat out by inquiring
after his wife.
That the M.L.C. is now hunting for a
hash-house where no one suspects he has a
spouse.
That the skating craze has already been
productive of a scarlet scandal.
That, on the strength of his figure-cutting
capabilities, one skatist fastened on to a
financial flirt.
That the roller Romeo has a wife and ¡
other encumbrances in the east.
That a dozen other Victorian victims are j
nursing something more than resentment.
That a well-known horse-owning sport is
exceedingly amazed at being taken for a
namesake.
That he waxes wroth on being pointed ont
as the " Possum. "
That the real " Possum " is no less riled
at being confounded with the owner of
Alma.
That the owner of Oyster is issuing writs
against all who jumble him up with jim.
That a covetous city councillor tried to
work the "Naboth's Vineyard" racket in
Bulwer-street.
That the blatant hounder was anxious to
acquire an allotment alongside his own
abode.
That the owner, a struggling widow, de-
clined to accept the avaricious alderman's
bid for her block.
That the scheming Shylock was immedi-
ately instrumental in getting the house con-
demned as unfit for habitation.
Thae the land-grabber's jackal has since
been boasting that his boss has put a spoke
in the widow's wheel.
That a toney Terrace boarding-house is no
sort of a cop for the slavey.
That a recent Mary Ann was given eight
bob a week and quarters in the dog kennel.
That the prolonged jamboree of a union
secretary has been agitating laborists at the
Port.
That his obstinate refusal to quit the beer
provoked many a loud and stormy discus-
sion.
That the worried unionists were thinking
of applying the shunt when the liquorish
one suddenly sobered up.
That Claremont's boss snob has carefully
announced his intention of visiting the old
country.
" That as the threat is made three months
ahead, there's ample time for a presentation.
That the I-spit Stubbs' eye for a douceur
is keen and covetous.
That the SUNDAY TIMES will cheerfully
provide a deceased cat as a token of esteem
for the departing celebrity.
That Wanneroo did itself proud at the
wild and whirling wassail on Wednesday.
That an especially interesting item was a
lushful lydy's ride a-straddle up the
straight.
That a shocked mounted policeman pur-
sued the plumlet and got lost in a maze of
market gardens.
That the pair didn't trouble to return to
witness the varigated procession of stiff'uns.
' That startling developments are expected
to. occur shortly in connection with the
magazine mystery.
That probable arrests which are rumored
may serve to enlighten matters.
That the Robb's Jetty quarantine yard is
the scene of harrowing cruelty to cattle.
That the poor beasts are without shelter
from the rains and the ocean gales.
That the yard last week was a veritable
morass, which added to their tortures.
That about the most insufferable snob in
the public service is located in the railway
traffic branch.
That the presumptuous puppy never
misses an opportunity to insult and harass
passengers.
That Short is hereby advised to give the
lout a job at platelaying.
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