Horsham Times (Vic. : 1882 - 1954), Tuesday 20 December 1904, page 3


CHRISTMAS RIDDLES. Why is a piece of mistletoe like a monetacho ?-Because lips meet between. Which is the left side of a Cbristmam plum pudding ?-That which is not eaten. What did Sydney Harbour.?-A Manly Cove. What did Adam first plant in the Garden if Eden!--His foot. Why is a man who asks questions the strangest of individuals?-Beca.use he is the querist. Why is the baker most in want of bread? -Because he kneads it more than anyone. Why is a carpenter a swindler?--Because he chisels a deal. How many sticks go to build a crow's nest P?-None; they are all canied. What is the difference between a spend. thrift and a feather bed ?-One is hard up and the other is soft down. If a nut could speak, what slang expres. sion would it use?-I want none of your bloomin' jaw. Why is a fly as tall as a big man?Because it stands over six feet without shoes or stockings. What is the difference between an unsuccessful lover and his rival?-Ono misses his kiss and the other kisses his mies. What is the difference between a cow and a rickety chair?-The one gives milk and the other gives way. What flowers are there between a hldy'~ nose and chin P-Two lips (Tulips). What word is it of five letters of which, two being removed, only one will remain P -St-one. What is that which Adam never saw, never possessed, and yet gave two to each of his children ?-Parents. When does a man resemble a wheel?When he is tired. Why is a beggar like an attorney ?Because he is a solicitor. What is the largest room in the world PThe room for improvement. When is a clock on the stairs dangerous? -When it runs down and strikes one. When is a man over head sad ears in debt?-When be has a hat on that is not paid for. Why is a drunken Irishman like a sentinel going his rounds?-Because he is Pat-rolling. What is the difference between a caOnter on horseback and a whisky decanter P-One will give you a ruddy cheek, and the other a ruddy nose. WTVhat is the best w?ty to disloige flies?Encourage spiders.What What is a woman's destiny ?-To make fools of men. What is a Quaker's advice to married men ?-Do not scold a woman, lest she should scold better than thee. What is a real digitorium!-A slap in the face.