Northern Territory Times (Darwin, NT : 1927 - 1932)(about) |
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Friday 11 July 1930
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2 corrections, most recently by nellibell49 - Show corrections
YOU'RE DRUNK!
By T. A. CUSACK
When you want to put the clock out and
you try to wind the cat;
When the pavement comes to meet you and
the lamp post lifts its hat;
When you can't jusht findsher key hole
landing home at 1 half past three
You may take the wife's word for it that
you're drunk as you can be.
When a purple snake salutes you and he
wears a spotted tie:
When you've just one big ambition- it's to
drink an ocean dry;
When you can't say conshishusion when
you think the lump's a keg
And you try to drink the goldfish you're
as full as any egg.
When your brains commence to rattle and
your knees begin to knock
When you argue with a 'copper' that the
moonsh a town hall clock:
When a purple railway signal starts to
dance a Highland fling
And you cannot find your ticket you're as
drunk as anything.
When you lob home with a lobster that's
been dead for half a week
And your sense of smell is sort of hors de
combat sho to shpeak;
When you tell the wife you're (hic) as
shober ash can be
It's a pound to half a cherry that you're
jagging on the spree.
When your tongue is wagging freely and
your senses are awry
When your legs are unresponsive and your
feet are stepping high,
When your head is gaping open and your
commonsense is kinked
In the language of the classics you are
well, and truly inked,.